By Gwendolyn Monangai
We are social beings. “We are meant to belong with one another as humans. We are meant to care for each other, protect one another and celebrate one another,” was posted by Orbitz Worldwide earlier this year during our season of unrest. At Jonathan’s Haven, we hold this idea to be true and timeless. It is why we are in the business of Human Services.
The ability to open ourselves to new experiences and meet new people comes more easily to some people. Whether we are introverts or the life of the party, the need to be included is hardwired in all of us. “F.O.M.O.,” the Fear Of Missing Out stems from this. Navigating crucial milestones in our development may leave us with psychological challenges that impact how comfortable we are opening up to people in unfamiliar circumstances. Often this construct of socializing and belonging is fraught with anxiety. It is particularly strong in our preteen and teenage years, and as we enter adulthood.
Now, imagine navigating the awkwardness of youth if you have a disability. To say it is not easy would be a gross understatement. Young people typically participate in team sports, begin dating and ponder where they want to go to college, and so much more. But the young adult with a disability is hampered by the feeling that they have become their disability.
Why would they not be their disability? In a culture wherein we focus more on what is missing than what is present, surely for the young adult with disabilities, their “otherness” has been catalogued and quantified and reduced to the sum total of who they are. The trauma they experience is often lost by those of us whose disabilities are less visible.
At Jonathan’s Haven, we work with people who have intellectual and developmental differences, by advocating for and supporting them to live fulfilled lives of their choosing. We take advantage of the resources available in their communities to assist them in participating fully in all that adds meaning and richness to their lives.
For example, at the Paralympics, we see elite athletes of every stripe competing at peak performances in their sport of choice. I am certain that when Dr. Guttmann first considered the idea of disabled people competing athletically, he was focused on what was possible versus what was lacking. When Eunice Kennedy Shriver, with dogged determination, founded the Special Olympics, she too was focused on making sure people with intellectual and developmental differences had the same chance as everyone else to live full lives and not be shunned and hidden away. She started from a place of “yes” and “why not”, just as we all should.
It is in the doing – the participating, that we find our tribes. In socializing, we make connections and connections that sometimes turn into life long friendships and even partnerships of the heart. So it is with the condition of being human. We are meant to belong together. We come hardwired for it.
Tim Shriver, on receiving on his mother Eunice Shriver’s behalf, the Arthur Ash Award for Courage for her work advocating for dignity and inclusion of all disabled people at the ESPYS, said, “When in doubt, choose to include. Play unified for a future of justice and joy.”
Let’s be unyielding like Eunice as we make indelible the hard fought laws in the Americans with Disabilities Act and take advantage of the notches in the sidewalks and crossings to the libraries, churches, synagogues, gardens and more in our communities and include all people, as we play UNIFIED!
